WHY GOD MADE MOMS

A friend sent this to me and I had to share it with you.

 Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

WHEN YOU STOP LAUGHING -- SEND IT ON TO OTHER MOTHERS, GRANDMOTHERS, AND AUNTS.... and anyone else who has anything to do with kids or just needs a good laugh!!!

Apple Cream Pie

Thanks to my cousin Tanis who shared this delicious recipe with me. I made it today for the first time and it was WONDERFUL! I've had it before, but it was Ben's first tasting. He has found a new favorite pie! Enjoy!

• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1/2 cup heavy cream
• 1/4 cup butter
• 2 T cornstarch
• 2 T milk
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 2-3 tart apples, cored, peeled, sliced
• 1 T flour
• 1/4 tsp cinnamon
• 1 (15 ounce) package pastry for double-crust pie
  
• 1/2 cup powder sugar
• 1 T milk
• 1/4 tsp vanilla
• 1 T butter, softened

Directions
In a medium saucepan over medium heat, combine 1/2 cup sugar, 1/2 cup milk, 1/2 cup heavy cream and 1/4 cup butter. Heat until butter is melted, stirring occasionally. In a small bowl, whisk together the cornstarch, 2 tablespoons milk and vanilla; stir into saucepan. Cook until thickened, stirring constantly. Remove from heat, and set aside to cool slightly.
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). In a medium bowl, combine the apples, flour and cinnamon. mix well.
Line a 9 inch pie pan with pie dough. Pour thickened filling mixture into pastry-lined pie pan. Arrange apple mixture evenly over filling. Top with second crust, seal and flute the edges. Cut slits in top crust.
Bake for 30 to 40 minutes, or until crust is golden brown and apples are tender. Cool for at least 30 minutes.
In small bowl, combine powder sugar, 1 T milk, 1/4 tsp vanilla, and 1 tbsp softened butter. Blend until smooth; pour evenly over warm pie.
Refrigerate for AT LEAST 1 1/2 hours before serving (longer is better).

Temporary

This is going private for awhile. 

Triple Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 cup butter/margarine, softened
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 eggs
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 3/4 cup flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 cup cocoa
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 cup white chocolate chips
1 cup nuts, chopped (optional)

• Beat butter or margarine with brown sugar, and granulated sugar. 
• Beat in eggs and vanilla.
• Gradually blend dry ingredients into creamed mixture.
• Add chocolate chips and nuts. 
• Drop by tablespoons onto ungreased cookie sheet.
• Bake at 350 for 8 to 10 minutes (for soft and chewy).
• Once cooled down place in a air tight container, and they will stay soft.

Rocky Road Cookies

I'm excited to share my first attempt of coming up with a recipe all by myself. When I have more time I'll probably tweak it some more, but for now it's good enough to pass it on.
1 cup butter
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 cup cocoa powder
1 3/4 cup flour
2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 cup pecans, chopped
1/2 cup marshmallows

• Beat butter or margarine with brown sugar, and granulated sugar. 
• Beat in eggs and vanilla.
• Gradually blend dry ingredients into creamed mixture.
• Add chocolate chips and nuts.
• Drop by tablespoons onto ungreased cookie sheet.
• Bake at 350 for 8 to 10 minutes (for soft and chewy).
• These MUST cool. Just so you can pick them up. These are best the next day.

Change it up: Instead of going for rocky road ice cream. Just serve some of these bad boys on a few scoops of vanilla ice cream. They're the bomb.

Oven Caramel Popcorn

A friend has asked for a caramel popcorn recipe, and I didn't have one. My adoptive sister has one and she's a great gal. So just go to Bristow Bistro for it and look at all of her other great recipes. Enjoy!

Pepperoncini Beef Subs

1 (3 pound) beef chuck roast, frozen*
4 cloves garlic, minced

1 (16 ounce) jar pepperoncini

1 green pepper, sliced
1 onion, sliced
1 tbs oil
Swiss Cheese
Buns

• Place roast and garlic in the slow cooker, and pour the entire contents of the jar of pepperoncini, including liquid, over meat.
• Cover, and cook on Low for 6 to 8 hours. The meat should fall apart easily.
• Saute green peppers and onions in oil. 
• Serve roast, peppers, onions and cheese on sub buns.

* The meat wont dry out.